A Beautiful Mess
Mother's Day 2019...
It is the first year in 7 years that I broke our Mother's Day tradition.
The Tradition: Take each child and spend 30 minutes of alone time with them.
Usually it's playing basketball or video games or eating out or football.. Really whatever they want. It is totally their choice and I oblige.
This year, I took a mini retreat ALONE.
I broke Tradition.
Since Mark's passing, I have been in go mode.
Business Go Mode.
Kids Go Mode.
Stress Go Mode.
Life seemed to be spiraling around me a bit to the point where I was paralyzed in my mind, body and soul.
So, as the pieces started to align before my eyes, I saw that it was time to take a brief break from serving those around me and serve Me.
"A Beautiful Mess"
I was able to take a weekend retreat to serve my mind, body and spirit.
It is amazing what one can find about themselves and how one can truly heal themselves when they allow it to happen.
As a mom, these past 9 months since Mark's passing have tested my nurturing motherhood ways.
I am yelling too much out of stress.
You are letting them slip in school.
Too many video games.
You are letting them act that way?
Why aren't you doing something?
What would Mark think?
And now...YOU are going to break Mother's Day Tradition?
YES. YES I DID.
And it felt SOOOOO good.
I went deep within myself.
I Purged it OUT.
I AM lighter.
I AM wiser.
I AM rested.
I AM better mom.
I am a mess but..
I AM "A Beautiful Mess."
That term sounds a bit weird being a Positive/Negative.
But it is true.
I am a Mess.
We all are a mess in some way.
But, it is a beautiful thing to realize that and then the mess becomes beautiful because of the growth that can come from it, if we choose to let it.
"A mess can become Beautiful."
Mark always told me..
"We have the luckiest kids because you are their mom."
I believe this.
On a DEEP level.
All moms should.
Just like my mom, Dianna Roskens, I hope you feel on a deep level.
Mom always told me growing up to "Spread My Wings and Fly"
All of my life, whatever I told mom I wanted to do, she said, " GO FLY" .
I think she truly believed I could do anything I said I was going to do.
I was going to be an actress and have my name in lights- Mom said "Spread your Wings and Fly".
I still think she believes this will happen.
Mom always believed in me more than I believed in myself and continues to do so today. She never discouraged me from doing whatever thing, crazy or not that I wanted to do.
Mom, Thank you as today...
"I put on Brave Wings and Fly"
Will they lead me to the big screen with my name in lights? Only time will tell :) . ... but I know you will be there smiling telling me to keep flying.
To all of the Mothers out there, You are Beautiful and you Inspire Me.
You are strong.
You are Wise.
You are loving.
You are patient.
Your kids are the luckiest kids to have you as their mom.
There is so much more that happened deep inside of me but that will be another story for another post.
With Brave Wings,