December 17, 2018 – 4 months since Mark’s passing.
I feel like this post might be more like 4 posts in one.
And figuring it all out.
And learning that sometimes I just might not.
I will go with it and IF I can take ALL that it gives to me and make something of it, then…
That is when real influence can happen.
Death is one thing to figure it out, right?
And then all the aftermath that comes with it.
Some that can be talked about publicly, and some
that only a select few can be trusted with.
Thank God for those few.
Life threw some news at me recently that gave me the punch that knocked me down and the only way to describe it is this:
When Rocky fought the Russian and at one point he was knocked down cold.
Rocky had flashes of his training, his family, etc. flash before him.
And as the Ref was counting and getting closer and closer to 10, Rocky had the choice to just stay down and he had every right to, I mean, he was broken. Or, he could choose to stand back up and continue to fight.
When I received the unfavorable news that knocked me down yet again, I didn’t know if I could get back up or if I even wanted to get back up.
But then, like Rocky, my kids flashed in front of me, everything Good that is happening flashed in front of me AND all of Mark’s mentoring began whispering in my ear.
So, as I was laying on the ground, I closed my eyes, took a breathe that was weak but had hope in it and began to stand up all while hearing the REFEREE getting closer and closer to saying, “10” .
But, I stood back up and the REFEREE asked me my name and I quietly but proudly said, “Shannon Hoverson” and he let me continue on to face the Russian Giant.
Now, I don’t know the end of the fight,
But, I chose to get up once again because I choose to believe that I was made for this.
Made for This season, Made for this scenario.
God created me in his image and allowed life to intertwine as it has to bring me to this moment.
I may not understand or even enjoy it all but I choose to receive it and continue to get up and face the giant.
There is a renewed power in me each time I choose to get up.
Like a voice inside of me that says, “F*** yes, you got this.” Even though I don’t know if I do because life hasn’t taken me to that point in the fight yet…
I just believe it..
And there is something magical, A feeling almost indescribable that shoots through the veins with a:
- sense of power each time I choose to get up on my feet again and fight the good fight,
- each time I choose to believe in myself,
- each time I believe in God’s plans.
Then and only then its as though creation itself runs to my side to lift me up and bring my soul exactly what it needs.
- Like ground dropping laughter with some of Mark’s high school buddies talking life, memories and stories of past.
- Going deep in some business talk and how to make Mark’s legacy last longer than 10 years but possibly for generations and generations and generations to come.
- Having them tell me , ” you will get up”, with such confidence and 0 doubt that you just instantly agree and believe it 110% yourself because of their sincere confidence.
Soul filling stuff.
All of this to say, I will continue to choose to fight the good fight to see the end prize and finish my calling here on this earth with full gusto.
I am, “Shannon Hoverson” a lioness who doesn’t quit so that others may too look in the mirror and say..
“I am ________…”
We are in this journey of life together, let’s Win!